Move on

Move on? Mcm mne nk start? Dari mane nk start? Dari siapa? Boleh ke? Berapa lama tempoh nk move on?
There are too many questions about that thing..
Setiap org ada cara masing2 cmne nk move on.. lain org, lain cara dia... same goes to me.

Talking about move on, confirm pernah broken. Yes, pernah n always broken. X tahu kenapa n mana silap tp always ditinggalkn. But still aku fikir "there must be smething wrong somewhere" n "ada silap aku yg aku x sedar"..

Indeed masa mula2 nk terima kenyataan tu, yes susah. Especially bila kau syg giler nak mati dkt org yg hancurkn hati kau. Always ckp "x boleh, x boleh, x boleh"

Ckp mcm ade pengalaman je kn? Yes ada. Setahun yg lepas.. why aku ckp psl kisah sthn yg lps? X move on lg? Nope. It just reminder untk diri sendiri supaya jgn berharap. Klau x nk jd mcm setahun yg lps.. why dgn sthn yg lps? To summarize it here, I love a guy n this guy leave me.. sbb? Sbb ade someone else. Cmne tahu? Sbb pmpuan ni special. Dia ade instinct bila kau curang. Kau putar belit celah mana pn dia akn tahu. Dan yg plg kjm.. kejam k? Mybe sbb that jerk tinggalkn aku mcm smph. Yes, without explaination why, just a text after almost a week aku tunggu n only a break up text "aku nk putus, cmne2 pn aku nk putus" full stop. Knpe nk ingt blk? Sbb that jerk baru je kahwin. Cmne tahu? Ramai reporter yg inform even aku x nk tahu. So apa perasaan dpt thu dh nk khwin? "Kosong"

Masa break up tu, rasa mcm langit runtuh hempap satu bdn, menangis? Nope smpai x keluar air mata. Why? Sbb too shock.. Too drastic dpt text tu. Dlm kepala dh x btol.. klau iman xde, I dont know what happen to me at that time. Sbb apa? Sbb aku syg giler nk mati that jerk.. rncg mcm2 benda tp end up aku still ditinggalkn.. sbb tu org ckp, hati manusia kita x leh ramal.. ALLAH sebaik2 perancang..

Cmne aku move on dgn cpt? Setahun.. actually x smpai setahun lg.. mcm aku ckp, lain org lain cara dia.. cara aku, aku terlampau broken mse tu so I decide to go out with every single man yg ajk aku keluar.. rebellious time. Why? Untk tunjuk dkt that jerk. Tp aku silap sbb dy x kn dtg balik. Please jgn follow cara aku sbb slh.. not a good way. In the middle of rebellious time n nk move on, luckily I met with this kid.. yeah this kid change all the those things and also me.. amazing.

Tp bkn secepat yg org sangka dia boleh ubah aku.. he saw me crying n crying n crying sbb x move on lg.. dia suh ubah itu ini wlaupn mse tu memberontak jgk x nk tp last2 ikut je. Now, I realize.. semua dia buat untuk aku.. change from bad to good.. thanks

Move on cpt atau lmbt, it depends.. there is no specific way nk move on. So dont ask for tips. Plg senang, dktkn diri dgn pencipta. Ye, mesti org ckp.. masa senang lupa, masa susah baru nk cari. Fxck that people who say that.. mmg susah untk buang hati yg sygkn seseorg tp percayalah smpai satu masa, hati yg luka tu akn pulih. Ye, luka sembuh tp parut tu ada.. mcm aku skrg. Boleh move on tp ape yg dy dh buat, susah untk aku maafkn. So, learn from the past, jgn berharap sbb hati manusia senang berubah..

"Jangan berhenti cari tuhan saat jatuh atau bangun."

#Kosongkosong

Appreciation Post

The worst feeling is having bad dreams over n over smpai kau x tahu punca dr mne.. & the most worst dream ever bila dpt mmpi buruk about ur relationship with him.. thats suck.. totally.. but the best feeling is you got him.. lps terjaga dr dpt mmpi tu, he's there.. sometimes it make me secure.. but still takut.. mse tu dia la pnyelamat aku.. just feel secure bila dia respond on the spot lps terjaga.. thanks for that bro.. 

Kdg org blh tgk aku meroyan kt socmed, & ketahui la kwn2 ku semua.. bkn gaduh.. mostly its from me yg x reti bhse bila dia bz & mula overthinking.. dia? Buat mcm xde pape.  Like he said bila aku meroyan, "mapuh mu la, aku nk buat kerja".. Kdg org ckp, xde org yg bz melampau2, yes xde.. sbb dy xde smpai ignore aku berhari2.. Im really appreciate when dlm satu hari tu dia ade text.. tp mnusia x reti syukur x reti rasa cukup.. tu yg bt meroyan & people do think dia ignore aku.. 

"Dulu dekat dia blh bt hal, skrg jauh x takut?"

I do believe in second chance & I do trust him to change. Semua org pnh bt silap.. aku pn.. bnyk kali kecewakan dia & tipu x pnh cheat.. yeah penah but both of us learn from it.. (aku hrp he feel the same). Learn & change.. like he change & fix me..& like I try to trust n wait for him.. it definitely worth at the end.. I do believe that. Distant, mmg x mmpu jauh tp kena la.. nk bt cmne.. satu kt selatan, satu kt timur.. nasib

"Dia muda, x rasa dia x matang?" 

Hahaha the one yg x matang antara kitorg.. tu aku.. aku.. x pnh fikir pnjg.. beza sthn je pn.. dia x kesah & aku pn x kesah.. btw, mmg rmai org ckp aku pnye taste bdk muda.. hoiii bkn.. I do have ramai junior laki..  senang nk masuk dgn dorg.. tp bila aku limit kwn & aku anggp dorg 'bdk' xde nk involve feeling ni. Tp ngn dia lain.. x pnh aggp bdk thats why blh in relay ngn dia tp dia selalu slh fhm ingt org lyn dia cam bdk.. heh

"Dia selalu buat kau nangis, x nk give up?"
Yes, dgn dia terlalu bnyk amat sangat nangis. Sikit nangis, sikit nangis smpai dia bosan.. hati tisu betul dgn dia.. sbb he know me better.. dia ade mse aku jth.. dia bngunkn aku dr lps jth until now. How can I leave him? Even mnyakitkn hati cmne pn dia ni.. he the one who make me smile again.. x pernah fail buat aku gelak..

Org tengok relay aku pn kdg x fhm.. kdg gaduh, kdg okay.. ribut taufan tsunami tu semua ada tp lps tu okay blk.. pelik kn.. yes pelik.. bukan nk menunjuk hbungn yg blm tentu jd ni.. tp ape yg aku bljr.. dont ever try to find someone else bila gaduh. Try to search someone better? Nah, x kn dpt.  Rather than search someone better, stay & build to be better.. stay through thick n thin.. tu ape yg aku pegang.. tp dia x fhm jgk.. asal gaduh suh cari org lain yg lg better.. org ckp x nk.. x nk la.. huh.. just doakan yg terbaik buat aku.. perjalanan jauh lagi.. & for those yg aku ade buat sakit hati, kecewakn sedar atau tanpa sedar.. maaf.. aku x sempurna.. doa yg baik2 je.  peace no war! Adios

Ps: Thanks awk.. thanks.. thanks & many thanks.. dari dulu smpai skrg.. so can we keep fight & love each other much more? Cause I will heart u to infinity, AA♡

My Heart ♡

My heart will never be the same.. every and each time I got stabbed from behind, it bleed and the scar remains but why people see me same as before, cause the love that blind my heart.. the love that make me crazy.. people can judge, but only me who knows everything.. 

I do think that second chance is acceptable but giving a second chance it can either be good and bad.. the effects is depending on the people you give the chance. And please bear in mind giving second chance is gambling. Its like killing you twice if the same thing happen again.. so be prepared.. its not like I'm praying its gonna happen again but ready to face that dissapointment so that I could stand up again. 

Now, I just believe he will change.. I'm waiting for him cause everyone know how much I love him.. its quite hard to answer if people ask "sanggup ke tunggu?" "x penat eh tunggu?" "Mcm mne klau dy buat balik?". I can't answer but I do believe him.. I trust him.. and of course I'm hoping for him. Can he be my last man standing beside me? I do wanna hear he say "aku terima nikahnya" soon.

Sometimes..

Sometimes u will feel like you're nothing.. 

Sometimes u will feel that people appreciate u better..

Sometimes u feel stuff inside ur chest.. Because of jealousy.. 

Sometimes u will sad when people u love leave u.. 

Sometimes u will happy when he/she said he/she love u.. 

Sometimes u feel lost..

 Sometimes u are going to give up on everything.. 

Sometimes u try to be strong.. 

Sometimes u try to ignore everything.. 

Sometimes u are not sure with ur relationship.. 

Sometimes u try to forget the most painful thing.. 

Sometimes u encourage urself to continue with the path.. 

Sometimes u cry when things going wrong.. 

Sometimes u smile on little things.. 

Sometimes u laugh crazily.. 

Sometimes u need someone.. 

Sometimes u lie to urself..

Sometimes u want to move on.. 

Sometimes u want to forget everything.. 

Sometimes u tell everything gonna be okay.. 

There are too many sometimes in ur life.. It is a fact.. 

#brokenEnglish

Let's not Fall in Love

Let’s not fall in love, we don’t know each other very well yet
Actually, I’m a little scared, I’m sorry
Let’s not make promises, you never know when tomorrow comes
But I really mean it when I say I like you

Don’t ask me anything
I can’t give you an answer
We’re so happy as we are right now

Don’t try to have me
Let’s just stay like this
You’re making it more painful, why?

Goodbyes after our frequent meet-ups
Repetition of broken hearts
I can’t find a purpose in these foolish feelings
A mistake with the mask of love
All the feelings are the same now
But in this moment, I want you to stay

Let’s not fall in love, we don’t know each other very well yet
Actually, I’m a little scared, I’m sorry
Let’s not make promises, you never know when tomorrow comes
But I really mean it when I say I like you

Don’t smile at me
If I get attached to you, I’ll get sad
I’m afraid that pretty smile will turn into tears

Don’t try to trap us
In the word, love
Because it’s a greed that can’t be filled

At first, it was half excitement, half worries
But in the end, it became an obligation, trial and error
Day by day, I get nervous, your innocence is too much pressure on me
But tonight, I want you to stay

Don’t expect too much from me
I don’t wanna lose you either
Before things get too deep, before you get hurt
Don’t trust me

You always call me
A selfish bastard

Let’s not fall in love, we don’t know each other very well yet
Actually, I’m a little scared, I’m sorry
Let’s not make promises, you never know when tomorrow comes
But I really mean it when I say I like you

Kahwin hmmm

         Setelah sekian lama menyepi.. yearghhh sbb x tau nak tulis sal apa kan... sebab busy la sangat sbb jenis pemalas nak tulis blog sebab macam2 laa lagi... tetiba rasa nak tulis pasal ni.. KAHWIN..

kahwin hmmm semua nak kahwin.. rasa nak kahwin tu ada tapi calon??? tarakkk ada hahahaha

budak sekolah sekarang pon asyik duk cari jodoh... mana pemilik tulang rusuk.. bla bla bla...

nampak simple tapi tanggungjawab tu besar... aku pon tak lari dari rasa nak kahwin... nak2 bila dah ramai rakan sebaya dah tunang laaa... dah kahwin even dah ade anak... hmmmm tercabar hahahahaha

tapi.... kahwin tu tak semudah mcm dlm novel... bkn mcm drama... 

         Ramai jgk kwn2 da kahwin.. wuuuu jeles habak angg... bila turn aku kn?? hahaha nampak sweet je.. nampak bahagia je... tahniah laa.. semoga kekal dan bahagia ke ank cucu cicit sepapak... hahahaha but, the sad story is petang tadi dapat whatsapp dari kwn baru aka kwn lama..x fhm? x pe laa.. hahaha kwn la.. wlaupun kenal kjp tp rse cam dah lme rpt... and dah lame gile x contact almost 1 year and half.. She already married and with the boy that I know... agak terkejut walaupun tahu mereka berdua mcm belangkas x leh dipisahkan and the most surprising thing is da ade baby... arghhh cute sangat.. but she had some big problem.. yeargh.. masalah rumah tangga.. and I didn't expect it to be happen.. she tell me everything.. the boy left her when she pregnant.. because of some useless bitch.. how could you do that to my friend? masa aku dpt tahu aku rasa cam nk nangis.. rasa cam nk tampo je laki tu.. tapi semua mesti ade hikmahnye kan... lepas dgr citer dia aku rasa takut lak nak kahwin... yess semua laki x sama tp rasa gusar tu ada... sekarang ni fokus habiskan belajar and cari kerja baru pikir kahwin.. and penuhkan ilmu dulu bukan kahwin mcm tu je.. get ready and prepare for it... I'm sharing because I hope people can know how cruel that boy is.. and aku harap la laki2 x jadi cam dia.. 

btw, for my friend please be strong dear.. I know u can. kiss and hug to baby boo for me.. ada masa aku jumpa kau... ^^  

MASUM oh silat

Petang tadi tolong umi masak untuk iftar... abah pn ade sekali.. tiba-tiba tngh syok potong sayur, abah tanya kenapa kena balik UTM awal?? *krikk krikkk* aku senyap.. masa tu da agak.. he know everything... hmmm abah sound lg, belajar tak tau kemana, nk main sukan lagi.. haduhhh sentap... menusuk jantung.. rasa masa tu nk berlari masuk bilik balik... adeihh umi ngan abah pot pet pot pet duk membebel.. aku??? tunduk hadap lantai..mcm lantai cantik sngt je,, lantai pon pelik kenapa aku asyik duk tengok dia... last ayat abah,, "ni last, lepas ni x yah main da"

walaupun slow je bunyi tp aku tahu itu bukan ucapan tapi arahan.. so, aku rasa aku kena turuti,,, dan taati.. 

tak sayang ke nak stop mcm tu je???? perghhh penipu gila aku ckp kalau tak sayang.. rasa nk menangis pn ade.. minat kot... kalau tak minat, dr dulu lg aku stop.. sape nk hadap main combat sport cmni?? kalau tak minat atau nk sijil. balik training sakit2 badan, pagi2 nk pegi kelas pn sengal2 ubi je.. pernah kot merangkak balik bilik lps training.. x caya? hahaha x nk prcaya sudh.. x suruh percaya pn.. kihkihkih... masa tu first time training kt utm..

Dalam hidup ni mesti ade je manusia jenis mulut mcm cilakak.. ofkosssss confirm ade... "alahhh sebab tu je nk stop, ingt pth tgn k?? kaki ke?? logik gk" hello brader and sistar... aku nk habaq sikit, perkara plg utama, lepas taat Allah dan Rasul.. mak ayah.. kau tipu dorg, kau lwn ckp dorg, kau tinggi sikit suara.. dapat dosa.. tak berkat wa habaq kat lu..

Sabda rasulullah s.a.w yang bermaksud:

     "redha Allah bergantung kepada redha kedua-dua ibu bapa, dan murka Allah bergantung pada murka kedua-dua ibu bapa"

sentap.. camne nak berjaya? sebab tu kot rasa cam tak tenang je selama ni sbb selalu sngt tipu umi abah.. sebelum ni memang ade niat nak stop tapi ade je bende yang menghalang.. either people or responsibility,, so untuk masum ni last, sorry to say.. hmmm habis je, say good by to silat.. dah tak boleh nak teruskan perjuangan.. sob sob sob.. kita fokus belahar je. kejar dean ehhhh pointer balik.. susah dah nak dean balik hehehe perghhh nerdd ah aku pasni.. dan tidak lupa mencari pelapis untuk team.. jgn bimbang, aku x kejam untuk tinggalkn team mcm bodoh.. Do you think I'm a looser cause giving up such  a simple matter? For me, you're the real looser cause it is not a simple matter to me.. full stop.